NUmB

I'm numb now
i've drunk about as much as i can handle, yet theres still 2 litres left
i was an alcoholic at age 14, then again at 17, i guess now again at 25

and everywhere in between
i actually like it
before it was coke
before that it was pills
before that it was weed
and i still love the feel of those poisons passing down
down
down

infecting my body and mind

what is wrong with being sober?
it takes guts!
it takes courage!
you gotta be fucken strong to be sober 24/7
i'm not stong
i'm not anyone you know

i'm not even anyone i know



today..............

Clearly Cold

its always going to be like this

inside my head
my blood is cold

no amount of heat helps
i am naked
bones and blood
bones and blood

what can u make of this?
i was you
you were me


i was something

more than this nothing
with perspex walls

an endless slide into
an empty abyss

slit

its marvellous
you expect it to pour out red
not brownish purple
get closer to the heart
does it get lighter?

get further from my mind
can i feel lighter?

i'm tired of this weight
dragging me to the bottom
its like i lost my left fin
and i just keep crawling along
keep circling in the dark

i don't get afraid down here
because your up there
and you can't hold your breath long enough to meet me



gasp, no air now
fill her further

she's convulsing with the toxins you planted
this is what you always wanted


my dark knight


slit her throat again

check the colour twice

taste it
can u taste the sadness

mmm salty....

too big

you're getting too big now
you can't keep it all in that outer layer you call skin.

we can see through you
we can see into you

your not unique

your just too big for your own good

stop. start. go. go. stop.
look in that mirror you love so much

go deeper


deeper