fall

I fall so fast

so hard
the imprint in the mud, u can still see if u squint
and everytime i get more afraid
i'll hold back
give into this war in my head
they tell me to go, they tell me to run
all it was, was a little fun
no your wrong;
pretend that we never existed
i never saw below your belt
you didn't pull my hair as i screamed with excitement
in & out, out & in
they said we lived in sin
i'm falling again and the rails are too far off
don't catch me

I get off on this pain

We never really had it at all

	I guess we never really knew we started and stopped so many times scratching the walls, losing our minds those things, we never really had at all innocent minds & easier times,  distant memories of a place, i wish i could find. i search these streets of pale and dark being alone is not always having a lonely heart don't look at me like you understand i never came to you.

I never wanted that life

 you'd so carefully planned

you never offered and you never gave you just sat me in the corner & told me how to behave 'pull this face dress yourself like this that person you once were, well she doesn't exist.' i'm still... searching for so much more you know, we never really had it at all i've come undone and am lost for pins i guess i could draw them from my back; all those that you put in. a thousand knives & a thousand lies just once one day give me those innocent minds & easier times.

BACK

I use to ride around in cars

listening to classical music

wearing my latest op-shop wares, how i loved what i was then.

how different i've become now.

Well, the rose colours glasses that i threw out the window in 2000 still lie on the side of that dusy road....

and i wish i was in summer travelling up that hill where i hit a kangaroo and we tried to break our sexual tension....

i'm not what i was then.

 i've become this superficial liar. i lie to myself everyday and thought it would work.

 if i could just believe the lies i created and the world i thought existed...

but i can't.

 i've seen outside the bubble and i want out again

no restrictions now i am on my own

no excuses. just takes a little more force than previously.

no one to hold my hand - no one to hold me back

i was strong on my own

once

i want her back

liar

"Life is all lies
you just pick which one you live."

We never know anything
until we are taught
by those before,
It's the way its always been, always will.

So you go on living your lie
following rules created for someone else.

I will live
soaring the sky,
running through the woods
and feeling the pain your lies have caused.

These bruises won't ever heal
this ink doesn't wipe off
I've tasted the real world,
I am proud of my scars

Shine

I am drawn by curiosity
she is different,
how?
-fascination is a consuming facet of life.
I want to understand
a hidden sadness
inside a hidden soul.
Is she deep?
Is her pain real?
Is the sky blue?
-Not when it rains.
That's your answer.
Look under the covers, she has many.

colourful world

The red cuts them
and the blue cries for them.
it's the black that kills them
and you'll blame the yellow.
my enemy is orange
and she eats those passionfruits
those purple passions.

so pick a colour
because it's all judged
and once branded
there is no escape.
hide, cover, you can never erase.
its immaculate stain remains...

direct me

so you pull yourself along this barbed wire life
falling apart.
empty vessels pointlessly roam
waiting to be told what to do
the need for direction.
you stand
poker faced
on the edge of your world that's crumbling around you
and with the rain, the earth forms a crust, a thickness you can't escape
its become too much
and swallowed you whole.